Dear Dad: My friend is 60 years old and suffers from an autoimmune disease. He is dependent on oxygen and suffers a lot. He can drive, walk and take care of himself, although I help him a lot in taking care of him.
I was invited to take a trip with my daughter and sisters to London next month for a week. He doesn’t want me to go and won’t say why, other than he’s frustrated that he can’t travel abroad. (He would never want to go on a girls’ trip to London.) He already told me, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t go.” I replied, “If you really loved me, you’d be happy for me to go with my family and enjoy the trip for a week.”
I cook and clean him every day. I am the breadwinner and I pay for everything. I treat him like a king. What should I do? A year to travel
Dear General: You do a lot for your boyfriend. He’s trying to make you feel guilty for not going. With the load you’ve been carrying, you deserve a break. Make sure that a friend or family member can monitor him in your absence. Then ignore his comments and go on that trip. Please!
Dear Abby: My eldest daughter is getting married and I asked my ex-daddy to walk her down the aisle. I’ve been there all her life. My wife and I divorced during her sophomore year of high school. Should I go, stay at home, sit next to the groom by the aisle or something else? – father of the bride
my dear father: Were you invited to this wedding? If yes, talk to your daughter and ask her what you intend to do about the seating arrangements. Take advantage of what it tells you. You should not be sitting on the groom’s side of the aisle. As the father of the bride, you should be with the bride’s family, and you and your ex-wife would better bury the hatchet if only for a day.
Dear Abby: I have an old friend who I enjoy their company with. She is one of those elegant women who wears a lot of perfume. I have a hunch she bathes in it, then uses lotion, and then sprays it all over. You can smell it coming from 10 feet away. You may not realize it, but everyone notices it.
How can I tell her without her feelings getting hurt is the issue. I’ve thought about pretending to be allergic to sneezing when I’m near her. I appreciate her friendship, which is why I kept my mouth shut. Any advice? – Perfume exceeded the load of a friend
Dear Perfume: This may sound like heresy, but there are times when a little white lie is nicer than the truth. Many people experience allergic reactions to smells, which can cause headaches and sometimes bouts of nausea. My personal trainer has long told me that when people work out in the gym, the smell of body lotion, perfume, etc. can trigger migraines.
I don’t think it would be a big sin to tell your girlfriend that you have developed a “reaction” to synthetic scents and ask her to refrain from using them when she is with you. Either that, or just see it outdoors.
Written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jane Phillips, Dear Abby, it was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is in What Every Teen Should Know. Send your name and mailing address, as well as a check or money order for $8 (US money) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
